Specialist Number 1 : Lymph nodes
First rule of Melanoma, there are no rules, second rule of Melanoma, there are no answers, third rule, only more questions.
Overall what I was told is good news, very very good news. If I go through with what I’m about to blurt out, it’s a gamble that I might not need to be taking right now, but it will give a clearer picture one way or the other. “Yes the cancer really has gone”, or “no actually it’s still lingering about the place like the smell of a smoker”. Life is about risk management, meh no big deal right?
Had a good chat yesterday with a specialist in Senintel Lymph Node Bioposy at Wordsley hospital, I’m a little more confused, I was well depressed this morning, I wanted to curl up in a ball. The talk made me feel this small *holds finger and thumb not too far apart*. But it was good, I have options, too many options and only I can choose. The doctors can’t sway my opinion soooo I ask and they don’t say. He has given me 2 weeks to think about it such is the gravity of this, I’m not even talking about chemo here, there are side affects, least of all I could catch a cold and get hit 10 times as hard.
It’s too late for me to have SNB, I didn’t have it in Septemeber and my tumor was too big for it to have had a postivie influnece. He did say that he has developed his own method, which allows patients to get Sentinel Lymph Node Biopsy done even if it’s been a year since the tumor was removed. His findings haven’t as of yet being taken seriosuly but he works with the *world’s* leading doctors in the area.
The outcome was I can have DSNB (delayed node biopsy) but not SNB, it’s not a treatment, and I’ll loose some nodes from my groin and armpit and those nodes might not contain cancer anyway. For the troubles I might get Lympodemia, which is a swelling due to lymph fluid having no nodes to drain into and I’ll have lost some front line defence against the spread of cancer in the future. But if I don’t have them out, then they might contain cancer that is too small to detect by finger or by CT scan and they might spread it to other nodes or could spread cancer or not stop cancer in the future. I could have ultrasound scans but whipping them out and getting ‘em under a microscope is the best way.
I’m basically being asked to second guess my cancer(that apparently is gone) and play a game of chess with it. First time I’ve had to do this, I know some people face this game daily.
If the Lymphs don’t contain cancer, then it’ll have been better to be safe than sorry and I can jump even higher in celebration of being very OK, for a clearer picture and to feel better I might go through with it.
But …..
The gamble is that if the lymphs did contain cancer then it gets complex. Two situations arise. The lymph has done it’s job and stopped cancer spreading (very hard call to make), or it has failed and has been overrun by cancer (easy choice). If the lymph node has done its job, it becomes a harder choice to make, because then there is a node with cancer but it is working and winning to fight cancer. So do you remove a healthy functioning node, or do you leave it in with the possibility that the cancer gets stronger and eventully breaks free.
Rule number 4, There are no answers only more questions that cannot be answered. It takes a billion cells to make a 1cm tumor, human hands can only feel a 1cm tumor, meaning If I leave the status quo then if something is flagged up it’s already late in the reoccurance detection race.
Tumors at the depth mine was, firstly don’t give you a good second chance at life to start off with (statistically speaking) All the stuff about catching it early, forget it, early is 0.8mm 2, 3,4 is scary enough, at 6mm everyone looks at the ground so as to avoid having their minds read through their eyes. The sighs I get tell me a lot and I appriciate the honesty. There is no sugar coating, It could be worse, could always be worse and that makes me less fearful and more realistic.
Tough choices, I have to make them. I honestly and truely don’t know what to do, do I keep the status quo?
Hi Lee, did you choose to have the biopsy? Apologies for prying - no need to answer.
Hi no probs!
I was swayed against it because the side affects sounded really scary, like always having a swelling and build up of fluids. Also the acuracy wasn’t to be trusted as they could have traced the wrong nodes and given false hope/needless side affects and still left the possibly affected nodes in. So there was no certainty either way, perhaps not a risk worth taking, but in Europe it’s common to not use lymph biopsy, culture clash with America.
At the time it was the best option I had and turning it down was a massive disapointment, I wish I had of gone for it in all honesty because since then I’ve not been able to get any preventative treatments or enrol for vaccine trials or do anything other than sit hope and watch. You know when you have to make a difficult move in chess and so think 5 moves ahead, that’s what it was like.